Over the last decade or so, I've learned that growing as a person doesn’t always mean adding new knowledge or skills—it often means letting go of what you thought you knew and making room for something new. That process of unlearning and relearning? It’s been one of the most transformative journeys I’ve ever taken.
What Does It Mean to Unlearn and Relearn?
Unlearning isn’t about wiping the slate clean or pretending your past never happened. It’s about recognizing that some of the things you hold on to—the beliefs, habits, or pieces of knowledge you picked up along the way—are no longer serving you. Relearning means taking a fresh look at the world and allowing yourself to adopt new perspectives, better habits, or more up-to-date knowledge.
Think of it this way: you’re updating the software in your mind. It’s not that the old version didn’t work; it’s just that there’s a new update that makes things run smoother, faster, or more securely.
Why Unlearning Is So Hard
I’ll be honest—unlearning isn’t easy. Why? Because it means facing the uncomfortable truth that what we once believed might not be right anymore. Admitting that an old mindset is wrong or outdated feels like admitting I’d been steering my ship off course, even if just a little. But here’s the thing: we all get off course sometimes. It’s okay to change direction when we realize there’s a better path.
One of the toughest parts of unlearning is letting go of our comfort zones. Our brains love familiarity; it’s why habits are hard to break. We also have to wrestle with our ego. No one likes to feel like they’ve been wrong or that their hard-earned knowledge is now obsolete. And sometimes, society itself doesn’t make it easy to let go of old beliefs. But growth always comes from the places where we stretch beyond what’s comfortable.
The Importance of Unlearning in Today’s World
The world we live in changes constantly. New technologies, new research, and new cultural shifts mean that what was true or relevant a few years ago might not be anymore. If we don’t learn how to unlearn, we risk becoming stuck in the past.
One of the biggest wake-up calls for me was realizing that some of the things I’d been told as a kid—things about success, about what it means to be happy—didn’t match up with what truly worked for me. Unlearning those beliefs wasn’t just empowering; it was liberating.
How to Start Unlearning and Relearning
So, how do you get started? Here’s what I’ve found helpful:
Recognize When It’s Time for a Change: The first step is simple but powerful. Ask yourself: Is this belief or habit still helping me, or is it holding me back? If it’s the latter, it might be time to unlearn it.
Be Open to Questioning Your Beliefs: This can be tough. I’ve had to confront long-held beliefs and ask, “Where did this come from? Is it even true?” Sometimes, you find that those ideas were built on shaky ground.
Embrace a Beginner’s Mindset: Imagine approaching things as if you’re learning them for the first time. Let yourself be curious again. When I shifted to this mindset, I realized how much more there was to learn, even in areas I thought I knew inside out.
Accept That You Might Be Wrong—and That’s Okay: One of the most freeing things I learned is that it’s okay not to have all the answers. There’s strength in admitting when we don’t know something and in seeking out new knowledge.
Find New Sources of Insight: Books, podcasts, conversations with people who think differently—these have all been huge for me. The more I immersed myself in different perspectives, the easier it became to relearn.
The Beauty of Starting Fresh
What I’ve learned is that the journey of unlearning and relearning isn’t a one-time thing. It’s ongoing. And that’s okay because it means we’re evolving. Each time I unlearn something that’s holding me back and relearn something that pushes me forward, I feel a little more free and a lot more capable.
So, if you’re on the fence about letting go of something that no longer serves you, take the leap. Unlearning and relearning might be uncomfortable, but it’s the kind of discomfort that leads to growth, strength, and transformation.
What about you? What’s something you’re ready to unlearn so you can make space for something better?
Watch this short video from The Wholeness Library.
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